I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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