Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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