That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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