Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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