dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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