what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Randomize
