Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
