i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
