Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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