bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
