If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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