I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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