honey bunches of taint.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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