i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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