God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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