So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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