my soul wont recognize me after tonight
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
