Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
as a side note pls kill me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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