who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
