was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
