Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
