careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
