Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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