I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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