He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
