But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My feet surprised me
Randomize
