i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
