What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
