Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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