Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
