Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
