whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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