Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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