I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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