his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
