I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
