I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
