Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just pee around me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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