awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
