I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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