the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
