I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My ass is underappreciated
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
