I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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