He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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