dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
