Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
