If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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