Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
