She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
