how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
